I’ve thought long and hard over exposing my homewrecker, as normally I am a very private person. However, this nasty home wrecker has been living in my head “rent free” and everyone should know what terrible person she is. I met my soon-to-be ex husband while serving in the military back in 2012. We hit it off almost immediately and I quickly fell head over heels for him regardless of his “playboy/player” reputation. I thought he was a changed man since he had deleted all these girls numbers and he spent all his free time with me. We eventually had a child together and married in 2013. When I was pregnant I had happened to have his phone and was playing games and received a text message. When it popped up on the screen it read, “Hey baby, when are you gonna see me again?” So that spurred me to go through his messages and I saw he had been inappropriately talking to a chick. I confronted him about it and he swore he’d never do it again. I should have just left him then, but I let it go. Looking back, I can see our relationship was rushed but I loved him. I thought he loved me too, but I was so very wrong.
Around September/October of 2014 I noticed he was acting distant and didn’t really want to spend time with me. Even when we were home, he’d ignore me. He was constantly on his phone and he even had lock on it. Which he had never done before. I started spending more and more time with my girlfriends. We would get the kids together and once in awhile have girls night. Well, he didn’t like that too much. Complained all the time, but when I told him he should go hang out with his friends too, he refused. We fought all the time and I couldn’t understand it. We used to get along so well, our sex life had been great, and we did everything together. I didn’t understand at the time why he was acting the way he was. I begged for marriage counseling but he said we didn’t need it. I tried talking about our issues but he didn’t feel like talking. Eventually he started making excuses for staying late at work, he’d leave at eight at night and wouldn’t come home until four in the morning. He even left me with our young son all alone on weekends to go back to his parents in Raleigh. Or so he said, but he was really seeing her. One weekend when we were still sharing a car, he refused to come home to get diapers for our son. I got so sick and tired of his lying and poor excuses, so I moved out with our child. Got myself a car and left him in November for a trial seperation because our fighting had gotten so bad. We couldn’t even talk in a civil manner until I left. Things started looking up and I thought all we needed was some time and space. He was being nicer and actually opening up and talking. But it was all just a show.
A mutal friend of ours finally broke down and confessed she knew my ex husband had been cheating on me with a girl he went to high school with. He would bring her around his friends even though they all knew we were married. My heart was broken, even though I had suspected long before I was told.
I confronted him, and after arguing for hours he finally relented and admitted to it. Saying it was my fault he strayed, that I should have paid more attention to him. I shouldn’t have gotten fat after I had our son. (I was a high risk pregnancy and gained a lot of weight, but lost nearly all of it afterwards.) I was shattered and broken, I felt so lost. For a long time I felt it was my fault. I was a failure for getting a divorce at 23.
When we became legally separated and custody had been sorted out, I thought all of our troubles had been put in the past. He could do whatever he wanted and I could move on. But I was wrong again. He started skipping out on our son, never keeping him every other week like we agreed. His wh*** was a higher priority. He spent all his time and money with her, going on weekend trips and never even thinking about our child. Rubbing it in my face that he was with her, even let this b**** stay in our home where we had been raising our child. Let her defile our bed, and flaunted this in my face. She purposely left her clothes and belongings everywhere when I went to pick up our son for me to see. Yet she would never be around or show her face to me. He even said I was the “bad parent who didn’t give a f*** about our son.”
Of course I never confronted her, like I said I’m a private person. I didn’t feel like putting my son through anymore. He was hurting and didn’t understand why mommy and daddy no longer lived together. But she did run her mouth about me all over social media and through messages between my ex and her which had been sent to me from said mutal friend.
This is me finally letting go, I’m so tired of hurting over a man that doesn’t care about me or our child. It took me a long time to get some of my sanity back, and I’m ready to move on to better things. My son and I are better off without my ex husband in our lives. The day he decided to cheat is the day he decided that having a loving wife and child wasn’t enough.